My Mom Being Diagnosed With Cancer Gave Me Hope Again.
It has been 3 months, 10 days since my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. That first doctor's visit was hectic. The nurses scrambled around in a busy frenzy. I wasn't quite sure if it was due to the number of people in the waiting area or if something catastrophic had taken place behind the scenes. Whatever the reason it did not help with the paranoid in our heads.
Oddly enough when we entered into the private room; they were all so quite, so inviting not that they had not been before but this visit was much different then the rest.
They spoke less, laughed less, jokes were fewer. I can't help but wonder if it was the worry in my mom face that they saw or maybe the fear in my eyes; whatever the reason.
This visit was different.
After the mammograms, the uncertainty, the maybes and possibilities; we were here to find out if the "little balls" in my mom's breast- as she called them was cancerous.
She often complained of a burning sensation and pains in her breast but never wanted to do a mammogram.
I thank God, she stopped being stubborn. Now more than ever, I knew my mom again. She was vulnerable. She was human.
You see, we had build up some really bad habits at home. We no longer ate at the dinner table, we no longer spoke, we no longer do a lot of things. We’ve been so consumed in the daily routines , work, friends and problems ; that family just seem to be an added burden on top of all the heap.
But here we were sitting in this oddly shaped waiting room, reading 2 year old issues of glamour and commenting on how gorgeous the clothes are. Waiting to hear the news that we already knew to be true.
My mom paused and turned to me and said softly in barely audible Haitian creole; “ Cherie eske ou panse se vre ( do you think it true)”. Though she mentioned no names and made no additional remarks, we both knew; what she meant.
At that moment, I realized that though the bad news was evident, we hoped it was different. That moment helped me to see that hope is independent of your situation, independent of your circumstances. It stands-alone, hope lets us see the sun while the thunderstorms are roaring, and helps us believe that when everything else tells us otherwise.
Hope says Yes!
Peace, Love and Good Coffee!
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