Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends On It.
The best understanding of what it is to be in a relationship is to understand the concept of interdependence.
No relationship can fully flourish without the understanding from both parties that some give and take has to occur. When all parties involved have found themselves and have an understanding of who they are— and what they bring to the relationship it leaves room for true magic to take place.
We have all heard this over and over and yet we have lost sight of what this means and it's significance: You can only love someone else when you have learned to love yourself. This is by far the most valuable point in life, becoming your true self liberates you.
We are fully capable of giving and taking without suffocating or draining another person. Everyone has something to give that no one else does. In business, it is said you must have a "competitive edge"—which means simply “ what can you offer that no one else can?
You will not be able to accept, love or give unto anyone until you have loved, accepted and given to yourself the privilege of knowing who you are and your purpose on this earth.
The purpose we seek is not this glorified thing we often hear about now. But your purpose is the point of this journey we are all on and no one can give that to you. You discover it on your own. That is the point of the journey. No one individual can give you purpose in life. When you have become dependent on another person definition of what you are supposed to do with your life. The minute it gets difficult you will quit. You lack direction.
Until you have had a clear definition of who you are—what you are capable of— and your limitations. You cannot enter the life of someone else because frankly, you will become more of a burden.
You will only become a parasite. There is no such thing as a successful relationship between a leech and body because the leech is only sucking away for dear life on its host.
You have told that person that you have no idea who you are and you are defined by their being and that is a deadly place to be in this world under the control of another. Many abusive relationships are the result of this very thing.
Now I am not saying that this will happen overnight nor in a weeks time; as a matter of fact, many people spend their whole lives trying to find themselves and many do this because they have fooled themselves in thinking they need a second opinion.
I for one know this will not be easy especially as a woman. We have been conditioned to find ourselves through so many things other than from within. We have been taught to find it in magazines, in media and even in our men but no one ever thought to say “to look within”.
Easy steps to help you along the way:
Write a list of everything you are effortlessly good at and things you love doing without getting anyone to tag along. ( I love art shows- whether I have a friend or not that wants to tag along I go)
Find a hobby— anything even if you say I just like to paint my nails that is a start ( I love to sew but I didn't discover that until I realized that I was fascinated by prints and feels of fabrics- cleaning out my closet showed me this) Random I know.
Tell yourself you are beautiful daily—list all the things you think you don't like about yourself and tell yourself every day how unique you are because of it. (If you hate your weight make a list how you will change this. If you are not willing to change it- Embrace it!)
Meditate—Spend at least 10 minutes of your time in alone time. As you continue, increase your meditation time by 10-minute intervals.
Turn off all electronic devices for 30mins-1 hours time—This is by far the hardest for most people. Avoid distractions and spend time with yourself. This is key, because if you find it difficult to spend a minimum of 30 minutes with yourself, then how do you expect someone else too.
What tips have you tried while on your journey of self-discovery?